That seems to be the slogan of my body:) Very selfish 😉 Today I went to get a blood test (history – i have been having fever for the last few days and thought it prudent to check for malaria) Most people take around 4-5 minutes for a blood test. for me it takes a minimum of half-an-hour. First the samart attendent comes all confident, puts a torniquet on my upper arm, makes me fles my hand, and pokes – Nada – no blood – only AIR. Now his confidence is slightly deflated. But give up, he shall not. He spend a few minutes feeling for my veins. Little does he know that my veins are not for common consumption. Anyways getting back to our guy, he finds a spot – finds his syringe and other stuff while still keeping a finger on the prime real estate that he has discovered – the spot which promises to gush with blood. In goes the needle, out comes nothing. Now he loses a lil bit of cool and tries another approach. keeping the syringe inside he probes 360 degrees around the entry point with needle.Still nothing!!!
Hah! the older wiser man comes – gives a look of dismay and frustration to the young, inexperienced apprentice and takes over with a look of wanting to teach the disciple a lesson. He chooses my other arm and with vengeance(albeit gently) he pokes and prods and drills and hammers – nothing. Suddenly he seems to sympathise with his disciple and looks at me as if accusing me of holding back my blood. His disciple is looking at me with awe – as if wondering where all the blood in this fat dude has gone!!!
This brings on the whole army. The matter has become a matter of pride and reputation for the whole diagnostic lab. I have 4 attendants hovering around trying to work out this problem. Other patients nearby are turning funny colours seeing my situation. M is suffering seeing me abused in this manner. Me, I am just interested in what they will come up with!
The next idea, try to take it from behind my palm, at the spot where you normally put in the drip tubes (a very painful area for me). Well they attacked it with fervour, like a Texas oil man would dig a prospective area for oil – only this well was still dry. All that pain to no avail. New equipment, some more digs, same result!!! They had tried their complete armoury and come up shot, now they only had stones to throw – and they did – by going for the finger-prick!!!
So now they attack the other palm, prick a finger and suck out the blood, one costly drop at a time, all the time squeezing my finger to get the max blood they can. At long last they are happy for getting something out of me. After half an hour I would be too. We part good friends having shared the travails of the last half hour. If it weren’t happening on me I would really find the whole thing amusing to now end. As it stands now I feel used and calmly await the next blood test I will have to take 😦 🙂